Saturday, May 25, 2013
What's the Point?
It's been so long since I have done this...not even sure what's the point of it all? Blogs are personal opinions. Most of us writing are not authorities on any particular subject, and oftentimes we are writing about something no one else really cares about. It was a fad and for someone like me who loves to talk about everything it is an outlet too; but what is so important that I have to let it out on such a public forum? Is it appropriate to put one's feelings on the line or out there for everyone else to see? Can it be in some ways helpful or is it just a sign that I am attention starved? I don't know? Sometimes I think it is more about searching for answers to what bothers me the most and keeps me up at night. There are those questions in the back of my mind...."Has someone else gone through what I am struggling through and how did they work through it?"..."Is there some insight on how to handle this or that problem?"..."Will I find the answers I need from the opinions of others?"..."If I put it out there and write about it will it make me feel better once I write it all down, even if my audience is built primarily out of strangers?"... Shared experiences can make us feel like we aren't alone. Working through a problem alone can be in itself devastating, especially if we have no one to talk it out with. I am proud to say that I am growing. I recently turned 45 years old and it wasn't so bad afterall. I am middle aged...Wow probably passed the middle already. I can't imagine that I will live to see 90, or that this world is even going to still be around in another 45 years at the rate we are declining...but that is a topic for another day. What I like about this new milestone is who I am inside. Twenty years ago I was a loving, caring individual. Today I love even deeper. I am affected in a much more intense way than ever before. If there is one thing that older people have to offer each other and others around them is the ability to love very deeply. The cost that comes along with that is that I feel pain in a way that can be difficult at times to shoulder or shake. I am much more emotional in an outward way too. I don't do as good a job as I used to hiding how I feel. Sometimes I don't care too. I cannot imagine losing a true love at this age if I was in a serious relationship. I don't know how some of my friends survive divorce, at any age really. Honestly, is it really better the second, or third time around? How does one shoulder falling in love with someone that stops loving them or that crush on someone that never really felt the same? Now there is a topic I would like to hear more about.